29 January 2006
Can you feel it?
I'm tired but I can't sleep because I can't stop thinking of you. You'e all I feel, all I smell, all I taste. Your voice is all I hear, and your face is all I see. I can't seem to get enough of you.
I was just lying in your arms. I miss you already, and it's only been five minutes.
I'm not sure if this is love or not, but I want it to be. It all feels so right, like this is all meant to be.
I don't care if everyone knows or no one knows, because I know and you know and that's all that is important.
I was just lying in your arms. I miss you already, and it's only been five minutes.
I'm not sure if this is love or not, but I want it to be. It all feels so right, like this is all meant to be.
I don't care if everyone knows or no one knows, because I know and you know and that's all that is important.
11 January 2006
There must be a reason for all the looks we gave and all the things we never said before.
There's lots of fear, but it's not coming out. I can feel it but it's just hiding, resting, and I can't be nervous around you. I'm so confident when I'm with you, and I've never been that way before. I get butterflies when you're around, but they are the easiest thing to ignore. It's so easy to be me, that is almost overwhelming by itself.
We have the best times, there's no use denying it. We have fun and nothing has changed. Things might even have gotten better, and less awkward, now that it's all come out. We can even talk about how crazy that other girl is, and it's not uncomfortable. It's just right. It all feels so right. I can see this happening, and I am excited. I am glad.
I can't believe things were ever hard. This is all so easy. Everything is falling into place, everything is working out. It may be slow, but things are moving in what feels like the right direction. I feel wonderful every time I think about it. I cannot wait for each time I am going to see you, and when you arrive I have to hold myself back from running out to you. I see you and I beam, I glow and I know it and I don't care. I'm sure everyone knows and that doesn't bother me anymore. Because I love you. That's all that matters.
We have the best times, there's no use denying it. We have fun and nothing has changed. Things might even have gotten better, and less awkward, now that it's all come out. We can even talk about how crazy that other girl is, and it's not uncomfortable. It's just right. It all feels so right. I can see this happening, and I am excited. I am glad.
I can't believe things were ever hard. This is all so easy. Everything is falling into place, everything is working out. It may be slow, but things are moving in what feels like the right direction. I feel wonderful every time I think about it. I cannot wait for each time I am going to see you, and when you arrive I have to hold myself back from running out to you. I see you and I beam, I glow and I know it and I don't care. I'm sure everyone knows and that doesn't bother me anymore. Because I love you. That's all that matters.
02 January 2006
But you don't know what now to do, because the chase is all you knew, and she stopped running months ago.
This isn't how it was supposed to happen. It was supposed to be like a fairy tale, an "I love you, you love me, let's be happy" sort of deal. But this, this is difficult. It's not supposed to be difficult. It's not supposed to be stressful. It's supposed to be easy. Complications in the process make it so hard to proceed. Damn these other people we know. First that kid went and messed things up while I was away. I am still mad at him about that. Nothing ever came of his "help", it was pointless and mean, in my opinion. Now this. I don't know the whole story, and I am almost glad. It scares me. Things are going so well. The last few weeks have been, well, downright incredible. I think we both know, we're just afraid to say, which is sad. It doesn't need to happen like this, though. We don't need this drama.
I am afraid, though. I've spent a long time chasing after love I could never have, in various places. At first I thought it was alright, but the last time was horrible. I was living a lie, and the other boy was just my longing for someone who really would love me, but I knew nothing would ever come of that. Now there's you. You're one of my best friends. I don't want things to change, not for something like this. I've spent years chasing, and it truly is all I know. It feels like this chase is coming to an end. I am scared. I'm afraid of the beginning. The awkward, youthful bit where everything is new. I'm afraid of the middle. When we are in love and happy and nothing can change that. I am afraid of the end. A time of anger, tears, and fury. I'm afraid to be loved, because I don't remember what it feels like. I'm not ready for this, I know. I want it so badly, but I'm not ready.
This year is going to be amazingly fantastic.
I am afraid, though. I've spent a long time chasing after love I could never have, in various places. At first I thought it was alright, but the last time was horrible. I was living a lie, and the other boy was just my longing for someone who really would love me, but I knew nothing would ever come of that. Now there's you. You're one of my best friends. I don't want things to change, not for something like this. I've spent years chasing, and it truly is all I know. It feels like this chase is coming to an end. I am scared. I'm afraid of the beginning. The awkward, youthful bit where everything is new. I'm afraid of the middle. When we are in love and happy and nothing can change that. I am afraid of the end. A time of anger, tears, and fury. I'm afraid to be loved, because I don't remember what it feels like. I'm not ready for this, I know. I want it so badly, but I'm not ready.
This year is going to be amazingly fantastic.
