19 April 2006
Give me fuel, give me fire, give me that which I desire.
I'd have to say that the biggest thing I've learned with you is how to live life. Maybe we're just coasting along, working only because we have to and hating it, spending all our time together but not enough doing the things that matter, but we're still living. I can't live with routine, with the same thing day after day. I thought I could, but it's impossible. I get bored, time passes slowly, and I get depressed. The office is not the place for me, and I worry that what I want to go to school for may lead me to a life i cannot live. It's difficult to know when things are going to go smoothly, I can't tell the future. It feels like everything will start to work out soon, though, and that after nearly two decades of difficulty, change, and some pain, I will finally be able to start living, and not worry about what the next big problem will be. Maybe I can even stop worrying about us, because things are obviously going fine, and love like this is hard to ruin. I can feel it. The end is nowhere in sight, and I think that I am okay with that.
// posted by Liz @ 16:20 
