22 December 2005
Left hand that crashed near your house in the ice and snow.
Nothing can be gray right now. For me, everything must be black and white. It's a state of mind I'm trying to get back out of, because I never used to think this way.
I tried last night. I failed miserably, I blew it. I give up. I am not trying again, unless the opportunity is fucking slapping me in the face. I cannot handle feeling like a fool.
The world may still have hope, but I have lost my own. It's not just him, it's everything. My vehicle is gone, and I have to ride the bus. Or rely on friends and jerks. It makes everything feel so hopeless, so impossible. It all seems so futile.
He makes me smile. He makes it better. He doesn't know.
I tried last night. I failed miserably, I blew it. I give up. I am not trying again, unless the opportunity is fucking slapping me in the face. I cannot handle feeling like a fool.
The world may still have hope, but I have lost my own. It's not just him, it's everything. My vehicle is gone, and I have to ride the bus. Or rely on friends and jerks. It makes everything feel so hopeless, so impossible. It all seems so futile.
He makes me smile. He makes it better. He doesn't know.
// posted by Liz @ 23:31 
