01 December 2005
It's like the butterflies are resting on a flower bush.
My friends talk to me about their love lives like no other. They're boys and they talk about their girls. Whether it's crazies, or cute girls, or girls they can't have, it doesn't matter. The only tough thing is when the friend who I have a mad crush on talks to me about love. I know he's talking about his girlfriend, even though I suspect they are not doing so hot. I just know it, and there's nothing I can do. I still like him, but he loves her, and there's nothing I can do. It's like being sucked into a blackhole where everything is a reality I don't want to face, and the only emotions are lonely and sad. I am happy for him, of course, and not just because I should be for appearances. He is my friend, and I want him to be happy. He is my friend above all else, as it is with all of my friends, but it is still hard. I bottle up all my feelings for him when I am around him, and act like normal, and no one would ever guess.
I am so emotionally unhealthy. I am getting better, but good lord.
I am so emotionally unhealthy. I am getting better, but good lord.
// posted by Liz @ 13:52 
